Yikes!

I've had a rough couple of weeks in terms of my diet. Marijana told me when I first started with her that I should probably up my carb intake and decrease the amount of protein I eat. She also recommended adding fruits to my diet. I think I'm going to have to talk to her this week and figure out a new plan, as I've put on some weight and I'm not feeling nearly as good about my body.

A strange thing about me is that I do much better with strict rules-- for example, Amanda told me I should be aiming for less than 100 grams of carbs and less than 40 grams of fat every day. As long as I knew that, I was very disciplined with my diet and tracked everything in mydailyplate. As soon as Marijana told me to increase my carbs, I went crazy, and it's really had a negative impact on me and my progress. I was increasing my carbs with junky sugar carbs in desserts like ice cream and cookies. I've been eating way too much Graeters, and when I go to the grocery store, I sample just about anything they have available, whether it's cookies or dips served with chips and crackers. I've also been snacking on Special K cereal, and even though those are technically "good" carbs, I've been eating too many of them in the evening, so it's being stored in my body as fat. And that's why my weight keeps creeping up. Grrr.

When I started training with Amanda, my biggest challenge was overcoming my cravings for carbs, and particularly sweets. She told me that I just needed to not eat any sweets at all for three weeks, just to train my body not to crave them. I was able to do it then, so I'm setting out to start another three weeks without sweets tomorrow. I will be making one exception on the 9th when I go out to eat at Orchids for downtown Cincinnati restaurant week (the fixed-price menu includes a dessert, and since it's supposedly the best restaurant in Cincinnati, I have to try it), but I will plan accordingly and make sure I keep my carb count even lower in the couple days leading up to it.

The most annoying thing about all of this is that I know better. I did so incredibly well with my diet when I was sending Amanda my food journal each week, so maybe I just need to tell Marijana to keep me in line a bit more and hold me accountable to her. I should be able to hold myself accountable, but I'm learning that I really do need that extra push from someone else.

I looked at my Put-In-Bay bathing suit photo today, and literally almost started crying. My body is a far cry from where it was then, and even from where it was a month ago, and I'm just not happy about it. Luckily, I have been keeping up with my cardio workouts, and the training I'm doing with Marijana is going very well. I just have to get back into my diet routine and hopefully I'll be able to get back into shape, because right now, I'm definitely not where I want to be.